memories.

It's always a nice thing to have. Memories.

Its nice to know that sometimes someone will think about a memory with you in it. Its nice to know you were loved by someone, at some moment in time. When you have the evening alone, engulfed in your bedroom, wrapped in your duvet. Your mind wonders, then as if by magic your in your own place. The place you go to isn't like a holiday destination. It's a risky place they'll effect your emotions. Curiously thinking about random time periods in your life can either make you happy or sad. You could be thinking about a nice time with your friends, or a darker thought about an ex. It all has its effect on you.

I have overcome this 'place' several times. Only a couple of days ago I had three hours to relax, i layed in bed and my mind went adrift. My original thought was sleep, some kind of power nap. That thought soon became a distant past as I thought about a dark part. This area of my head had been forgotten for a few months. I had been focused on other things, and not this one specific thought.
I laid there, before feeling happy and content with life in general. I felt a rush of sadness creeping in, it felt odd because it began to be anger. Then it transformed into a more mellow type of sadness.
God knows how you can change moods so quickly?
It was silly but it makes you wonder, can you actually control these damn things?

vibe.

I like when you finally have a happy vibe. Even though the hairdresser fucked up my hair. I feel confident enough that tomorrow will be amazing.
I'll be able to get  my Reading Festival ticket early, see my group of friends that make me feel like I'm part of something. I hope the weather is nice, warm at least, just so I can wear my sun glasses and my pair of leggings.
In final addition it'll be nice to eat pizza outside for the first time in a while, since last summer.

Although I'd be spending the evening checking over my essay, I'm sure my day will set me in a good state of mind to tweak my work to perfection (or as much as I can)

I cant wait for the summer, to have BBQ's under the sun. sometime it'll be cold but the sun will just make us all feel upbeat and happy!

deceit.

One of the most deceitful things must be the sun. We see it shining so brightly through the window, automatically forgetting the heating still on. Then we decide to put on summer clothes, and all we get is shivers and goosebumps as soon as we step out the door. You hug yourself and run faster than you've ever ran before, just to acquire a jacket. If you get the chance of course. If your running late you have to be cold all day.

Maybe if the sun was a human, it would be classed as a compulsive liar. Someone who lies and lies and lies, until it gets to the point where they start to believe their lies?

"ooooo look at me, I'm so bright and warm. Wear nothing muahahahaha!"


If im honest, this photo makes the sun kind of creepy. But it justifies my point surely?

Point of advice:
When you see the sun outside, always think twice. outsmart the sun and wear a coat! Then hey-pressto you've got the upper hand :)

downfall of us all.

Im still alive.

I don't know why I've been so busy, its always a case of taking the step back. Taking the step off the ground and not going out and seeing what the world has to offer. That itself takes more time than keeping yourself busy. Although I've been at work, some lectures and seminars here and there. I have come across some emotions in the last few weeks which have never really came to light as much as they have before.

Obsession, Greed, Jealousy and Happiness.

I'm not trying to say that I've never seen these before while being at university, but my eyes have seen them much clearer since Christmas.
Obsession was a good one, i noticed it in the most obvious way. I have never known myself to hate someone because of it though. I mean we all have our own guilty pleasures; mine being a few things: pop tarts, sleep and my phone.
I've seen it more through the emotional sense of people. The need for attention, mainly over social networking sites. Its like they're trying to say HELLLLO to the world.. several times of the day, in the space of a few hours.
Usually you ignore such people but it gets to the point where people start to notice the wider side of it and make them the main name of discussion for said attention seeking. I do wonder if it will stop. The mood swings give me a headache.

I have found some happiness through these emotions. I have realised I need more time to myself. I need to make a new hobby. Learning guitar has been hard but its always something to smile about. It makes you smile when you realise your actually putting effort into yourself and not always on other people.
Im glad over the last 6 months I've learnt so much.  Definately makes me feel content and somewhat happy with everything, even if i have completely off days.